THANKSGIVING: THE PC VERSION

AS TAUGHT IN THE HALLOWED HALLS OF AMERICA'S MOST ELITE UNIVERSITIES!!!

Earl of Salisbury

Once upon a time, there was a dangerous group of religious zealots who lived in England. This radical right group was filled with hate and persecuted all those around them. These hypocritical nut jobs wanted to separate from the rest of society. In 1607,  on a campaign stop in San Francisco, Robert Cecil, the Earl of Salisbury and minister to the Crown stated, "it is not surprising that they get bitter and cling to their guns or religion or antipathy to other people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations."

THE FIRST PILGRIMS
Darryl, Darryl and Darryl

These wackos believed the silly superstitions and archaic myths in the Christian bible and were such hillbilly rubes  that  they believed they could do a better job educating their children than the state supported school monopoly. Moreover, they resisted paying their tithes to the state supported church. Incredibly, these ignoramuses actually thought that they should be able to keep their own money as opposed to giving their money to the Archbishop of Canterbury, a wise and educated man who of course was much better equipped to spend their money than they were. Moreover, in the name of "family values,"  these bumpkins held medieval ideas such as fidelity in marriage and sexual abstinence  for 13 year olds, all designed of course  to oppress and enslave women.

Gov. William Bradford

Thankfully, there were wise "diversity" laws in England that prevented people from disagreeing with the government and those that did were sent to re-education camp in the Tower of London. Before being rounded up, these troublemakers left the country and settled in the Netherlands in 1608.  Their leader William "Jerry Falwell" Bradford was a domestic terrorist. However, being the xenophobic rubes that they were, Bradford and his cult soon became disenchanted with the "licentiousness" of the Dutch. Being uneducated and simple, Bradford's cult could not discern the enlightened wisdom associated with Amsterdam's liberal prostitution and drug culture, much less the good sense it made to give free needles to heroin users.

Rupert Murdoch and the Koch Brothers

After 12 years of living amongst the enlightened Dutch, Bradford and his ninnies decided to leave for America in 1620, but they did not have the money for the trip. Thus, they  engaged in a crass capitalistic scheme by "hooking up" with the Virginia Company, an evil profit making venture backed by Rupert Murdoch and the Koch Brothers. 102  "pilgrims" boarded the Mayflower to America on a mission to cause ecological damage to the Earth and to commit genocide against the much smarter and noble natives who had the good sense to reject all commercialism and thus ran around naked, freezing to death in wintry Massachusetts. These natives, who had no written language, could not forge metal,  had not yet invented the wheel and smelled really badly, were nevertheless much, much smarter than the English settlers who had just crossed 3,000 miles of ocean. ( Having a callous disregard for the Earth, it is now known that the Pilgrims on the Mayflower did not recycle and dumped their waste products into the Atlantic Ocean!!!).




Miles Standish and Priscilla Alden Descending From Mayflower

Recognizing that the natives were smarter, better educated and more cultured than the hayseed Pilgrims, their leader and Ayatollah, the militant warlord, Captain Miles Standish came up with a cunning plan. Standish would not commit genocide against the natives until he could use them by allowing the good natured blokes to reveal  all the secrets of the universe to the Visigoth Pilgrims. While Standish engaged in lewd sexual acts with his trollop, Priscilla "Eva Braun" Alden, the good natured natives planted and harvested a bounty crop using organic and green farming methods.  The gluttonous English ate all of the food and then in their superstitious and boorish manner, gave thanks to their "lamo" Christian god, with no acknowledgement or thanks to the Earth for its caring for the Pilgrims.




Squanto's G, G, G, Great Grandson

 After dinner, the Pilgrims killed all the good people and eviscerated all elements of their culture which was much superior and advanced than that of the English. It is now known that the natives (the good people), had a very low carbon foot print as their method of living in squalor, disease and constant starvation was very good for the Earth. Had their culture survived, there is a high degree of likelihood that America today would not have been burdened with wealth, prosperity and technological advancement and of course the world would be a much better place. Today, the only known remnants of this lost and idealized culture are found in small pockets of major American cities, where Occupy Wall Street  and Antifa protesters are known to smell as bad as Squanto and Samoset and disavow all modern conveniences, such as toilets, education and soap.

And this is why we should all hate America.......

Guest Column: Virginia Russell Opines On Smoking Pot!!!

Virginia Russell- smoking hot babe and devoted ROB IS RIGHT groupie is a Richmond native and columnist for the Naples News. Click on her  column, Virginia's State of Mind and her blog, The Foreign Wife. 

Good tunnel, good weed – what to do?

Virginia Russell

By any measure the drug tunnel discovered last week in a Californian warehouse is impressive. Presumably without the aid of a structural engineer or a front end loader the 400 yard tunnel was built 20 feet underground from Mexico to California. The tunnel included lighting, ventilation, a drainage system and a Starbucks at either end. Authorities discovered 14 tons of marijuana in the tunnel and warehouse.


I would ask why they didn’t find the Mexican drug tunnel sooner, but I know from experience that tunnels can be well hidden. As a kid, my backyard was so full of tunnels it looked like a sinkhole. My friend, Jim Bryce was a master. True story - in only five months, he and his two teenage brothers dug a tunnel over ten feet underground. They dug in the middle of the night in his backyard and carted the dirt away in grocery carts. Their tunnel evolved into a subterranean housing system, replete with cement walls, carpeted rooms, electricity and even a TV. If a couple of teenagers can build an underground multi-level dwelling and go unnoticed, I’m not surprised that more tunnels haven’t been found.


Frankly, I’m more concerned about the tunnel diggers than the weed. If the tunnel diggers are caught they can’t be incarcerated. The minute they enter prison, they will just tunnel their way to escape. Or worse, they’ll stay and serve their sentence all the while teaching the other inmates how to dig drug/escape tunnels. The last thing we need is more skilled tunnel diggers.

HEY, WHAT'S DOWN HERE?

It would certainly help if border access could be secured. In an effort to restrict access to the U.S., Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann signed a pledge for construction of a fence along the entire length of the Mexican border, approximately 2000 miles by 2013. Bachmann’s fence idea may be wilting as it is made more and more obvious that those motivated to cross the border (like drug cartels) aren’t deterred by such impediments. Aside from the cost of the materials, the labor costs will be so high that it may make sense to have the fence built in Mexico and then shipped to the U.S. for installation. The money intended for fence construction may be better spent on research and development of an invisible shield that extends both above and below ground.

Drug Cartels have chosen warehouses along the Mexican border as a prime tunnel entry point as trucks can load and exit the warehouse unseen. In an effort to reduce the number of warehouse tunnels, U.S. authorities recently initiated a campaign to alert warehouse landlords. Authorities sent out a list of warning signs that indicate that someone might be building a tunnel in the warehouse. The warning signs included “sounds of jackhammers” (digging a tunnel in the ground), “piles of dirt” (coming out of the tunnel) and “the scent of unburned marijuana” (coming through the tunnel). One warning sign omitted from the list was “an envelope addressed to the warehouse landlord filled with non-sequential, unmarked 100 dollar bills.”


Some Californians believe that the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) and Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) activities are a waste of time, public funds and good weed. One resident pointed out “I don’t know why they bother hauling all that weed through a tunnel when everyone knows the best weed in the world is grown in California.”

SHOW ME THE $$$

However, the DEA and ICE activities may not be completely fruitless. One ounce of Mexican weed has an approximate street value of $200 making the 14 tons worth $89,600,000. With an underfunded pension fund and a total debt of close to 50 billion dollars, California might consider selling the marijuana back to Mexico.


It’s fair to say that as long as there are stoners buying the weed, there will be dealers going under, over and around the border to sell the weed.

SEX, JOBS AND CROOKED LAWYERS

SEX, JOBS AND CROOKED LAWYERS.

Herman Cain

I have news for the world. Men are pigs and women are crazy. I am the only nationally recognized (and acclaimed ) editorialist who has the guts to say this. Here, let me say it again: men are pigs and women are crazy. You won't be served this kind of meat and potatoes from the New York Times. Maureen Dowd, whose very existence proves the later part of my proclamation, will not admit this, but folks, let's face it: ROB IS RIGHT AGAIN.

 


Men Are Pigs

Scientific evidence confirms  that men think about sex 74 times every 6.5 seconds. I know of very few men who have not made a lewd comment towards a woman. Men are primal animals. Women civilize us. They domesticate us, they make us better people.  I will be the first to admit that women are better people than men. With this said, women are crazy. I know very few women who do not hold on to real or perceived grievances their whole life. 45 year old Louise hates 45 year old Jimmy because Jimmy forgot to return her  pencil back in the 7th grade. Billy Shakespeare knew what he was talking about regarding scorned women. Any divorced guys out there?  Yeah, well, you know what I am talking about. As soon as you walk out the door the revisionist history begins and suddenly you are a drunken, crack addict, deadbeat, child abuser, bank robber with a little p_ _ _ _. (this is a family oriented website, words such as penis are strictly prohibited, ...oooops). 

I have no doubt that Herman Cain may have tossed out some sexual innuendo. Men do such things. I also know that a man can never know how a woman is going to react to a compliment or a good natured ribbing.  I have had flower pots thrown at me for saying "you look nice in that dress dear."  


Shyster Lawyer

 I will also state something else that no other editorialist has the guts to say: Federal sexual  harassment laws are idiotic and should be repealed and have unintended negative consequences that far outweigh the benefits of these laws. Before we became such a sniveling, androgynous and litigious society and thus abdicated our rights and responsibilities to  piss ant pettifoggers, social convention ( which costs no tax dollars) did as a good of a job as is possible in holding men accountable for piggish acts. It worked like this, especially down here in the South: you mess with my daughter and I'm going to KILL you. It's that simple.         
( I trust all young men who may be inclined to date one of my daughters heard me). I have a lady friend, if some dude does not treat her with the ladylike deference she deserves, I will confront him, embarrass him, shame him and if he gives me any lip, I will punch him. This is what my daddy taught me and his daddy taught him. This is the way that social convention works, the perp is humiliated because all of society condemns his act. As a man, in my case, a big strapping hoss of a man, I have the absolute right to punch someone who takes advantage of a woman. No one is going to file a battery charge against me because fat slobs who treat women poorly get punched ( by big strapping hosses like myself) in a society that does not have EEOC laws. 

Strapping Hoss Kickin Ass

Enter the corrupt busybodies in Washington. They enact sexual harrassment  laws, sounds good and well intentioned, but there is always another motive in Washington. Congress is 90% lawyers. Follow the money, which leads straight to the trial lawyers' lobby, who in turn, give money straight back to Congress.  Once a "law" is enacted to fix a perceived problem, then all social  forces that were already monitoring and fixing the problem abdicate these social responsibilities to "the government." Society loses its self-policing function and is now stuck with an incredibly inefficient, cumbersome and expensive process that a big strapping hoss ( like myself) whose daddy "taught him right" was fixing for no costs.

 

Sexual harrassment  laws take advantage of the perfect storm created by the differences between men and women. Memo to Gloria Steinem: men and women are different.  In the vulgar age of "Real Housewives of Atlanta" do we really think that most of the women who bring actions are truly offended or actually harassed? No, these laws are just a gravy train for aggrieved and bitter  parties to make a quick buck. These inane laws are an incredible tax on jobs, and hurt the people they are "supposedly" protecting the most. However, the real purpose of these laws is to enrich slime ball lawyers.

Slime Ball Lawyer

I know. In 1994, a company I bought was hit with a series of these suits. One of my managers was a tough dude, tough, but fair. A few employees under him (men and women), complete white trash lowlifes , contacted Mr. P, a parasite EEOC plaintiffs lawyer, who brought a series of groundless EEOC and ADA suits. Mr. P, if you are out there today reading my blog, you are a complete slime ball. Mr. P instructed his clients to lie and they did. When they were caught in these lies, they were instructed to lie again. $440,000 in legal fees later, we won all of our cases. Indeed, several of the litigants perjured themselves. Excited to have the goods on these no count, worthless, trifling excuses for humanity, I went to my white shoe law firm and said " Boys, let's go to the U.S. Attorney and get him to prosecute these folks for lying under oath." I was met with bellyaching laughter, "why the U.S. Attorney is not going to prosecute anyone for perjury," snicker, snicker- how naive are you Smith! Aren't you boys outraged that someone would lie under oath." More snickers. That's when the light bulb went off and I learned a valuable lesson. Lawyers are crooks. They have no incentive to change the system, because they are part of the system. In every aspect in life, even things that appear august and noble, follow the money to see whose palm is being greased.

Follow the $$$

EEOC laws are nothing more than a tax on hiring people. In fact, this country would be at 100% employment if it were not for the array of silly "employment" laws that prevent people from being hired, keeping good talent on the sidelines instead of producing much needed goods and services in the private economy. The $440,000 wasted on this litigation would have been money used to grow my business, providing new and better jobs to deserving employees who produce a product that the public desires to buy on their own volition. Instead, these jobs were not created because the money is diverted through federal coercion to lawyers who produce nothing the public wants to buy. The people who profess to care about worker's rights are fattening their own wallets at the expense of a higher standard of living for workers who are not lawyers.

Speaking of Shakespeare and lawyers, there is a great quote in Henry VI.......