IN PRAISE OF WOMEN.......

In solidarity with Phil Robertson, I decided to grow a beard (Handsome devil, aren't I?). I am an old salt who has been around the track a few times and there is a certain order to the universe that has been put in effect by God. Even old dogs learn new tricks, and this old dog continues to learn and marvel at the brilliance of this divine order.  Men and  women were put on this earth to compliment each other. Men are not worth anything without  women in their lives. Sure, we are pretty able creatures, we can build roads and skyscrapers, but everything men do, they do for the women.
 Women civilize us and make the world a better place. If there were no women, men would have no

inclination to do anything but compete against each other, we would club each other to death in a fortnight. Yet, we don't because it is in our DNA  to protect women and the children they bear.  Thus, our natural tendencies to burp, scratch ourselves and fight each other is redirected to more constructive purposes. Here is another revelation, women tend to be nicer people than men. Seriously, when I see another man on the street, the first synapse of thought that comes to my mind is "how would I take him in hand to hand combat?"  Women are different. Ever notice how when a woman sees another woman, they hug each other? ( I would rather stick a needle in my eye than hug some dude).  I coached an all girls U-12 soccer team once. I had to initiate a "No Hugging" rule. The girls were so busy hugging each other, they wouldn't get back on defense; it was fascinating ( by the way, we were undefeated and un-scored upon, and won the City championship that year). So what makes us want to do noble acts and "be good," is we want to measure up to women and have them like us. The only reason a man would ever go to the ballet is to impress some chick.

Men and women have different talents as well. My left brain constantly absorbs and organizes data such that I can make prudent decisions, but I suck at  instantly understanding what someone else is feeling (not that I would give a damn). If someone were to give me $ 1 million to win a pillow fluffing contest, I could practice all day for months and lose to a 6 year old girl. Women make our world prettier, nicer, better smelling and more pleasant. Not to be a big Sallyboy, but I kinda like what they do. I have gotten to the point where I actually change my underwear everyday.  Without women, we would be wearing loin cloths and living in caves, planning the next raid against the opposing village. Yet, because of women, we actually take our shirts to the dry cleaners and occasionally let them have the remote control.

God is an amazingly clever fellow. Who else could have come up with a system like this?