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| MR. POTTER |
I don't like Christmas. I know that is not a warm and fuzzy thing to say, but then again I have never been accused of being warm and fuzzy. I am mean as a snake, in fact I make mean slithering snakes look like cute little puppies. The only thing I like about Christmas is when Mr. Potter says:
" You see, if you shoot pool with some employee here, you can come and borrow money. What does that get us? A discontented, lazy rabble instead of a thrifty, working class."
That is a great line! ( It really warms my heart).
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| Hey Kid, Go Play In The Freeway |
About the only thing fun about Christmas is telling little kids there is no Santa Claus. I guess you could say I have a strong independent streak. I don't like being like everyone else. If everybody else is being nice and syrupy, I am going to be mean and grumpy. What's more, I hate being told what to do. The 4 times I have actually done something nice for someone else ( 1977, 1986, 1990 and 1997), I did it because I felt like it, not because someone told me to. If you ask me politely to take the trash out, I will do it, but if you TELL ME to take the trash out, I am going to dump it all out on your kitchen floor and walk out. Sorry, that's just the way I am wired and by the way: EAT ME!
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| Doc, Why Does Santa Hate Me? |
I have given Christmas a lot of thought and frankly we Americans have really screwed Christmas up and in the process caused all kinds of (lifetime) psychological damage to generations of children. Christmas is excessive; it is TOO much. It ain't healthy. No doubt, Christmas is a magical time for an 8 year old. The problem is, as adults we expect to FEEL the same way at Christmas as we did when we were 8. Children grow up to be adults with unrealistic expectations of what Christmas should be. As a result, it seems that depression, family squabbles, undue stress and many other dysfunctions reach their zenith at Christmas. We try to assuage all these ills by making Christmas "bigger," instead of realizing that it is the "bigness" of Christmas that causes all these problems.
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| My Recent Haul From Dinner Party |
While I am woeful sinner, a first rate scoundrel and always up to no good, I do know a thing or two about Christian theology. Such knowledge comes in handy. For example, no host of a fancy dinner party would ever expect you of stealing their silver if you are pretending to be pious and waxing eloquently about the Babylonian Exile or the Doctrine of the Trinity. If you are at a bar and meet a babe and start talking about the Synoptic Gospels or transubstantiation, the woman will trust you and almost always tell you to watch her pocketbook while she goes to Ladies Room. (Of course when she gets back, you are gone with enough small bills to keep you occupied a few hours at the local, uh,....dance club).
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Dude, let's get some Munchies
after the pageant !!! |
All kidding aside: I have a serious point to make. As much as I know about Christian theology, I never really understood what Christmas was "truly" about until a few years ago. I have attended 100 Christmas pageants where the local 15 year old "stoner" recites the familiar "Christmas" passages from Luke. ( By the way, I have always been a little pissed at my parents for not naming me Caesar Augustus instead of Rob). One Christmas Eve, I attended the midnight Messiah service at my church, St. James Episcopal in Richmond. The music was beautiful and quite frankly I was moved by it. I listened attentively to Handel's lyrics. As the service ended, the choir processed under the candle light onto the portico and stood among the massive Corinthian columns and sang Silent Night in German. ( I haven't even mastered Pig Latin, so naturally I was impressed). As I and everyone else quietly walked to our cars in the brisk, cold air, it SUDDENLY HIT ME.
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JESUS
Ok, I couldn't find a current photo
of the real Jesus |
Christmas of course is not about toys or material things. However, it is not really about the birth of Jesus. Christmas is about the GIFT of Jesus to a broken world to heal and reconcile us with each other and with Him. No rancor, no bitterness, only joy.
Now, that I think about it: I DO LIKE CHRISTMAS!!!
Joy. It is a damn good gift. ( Much better than a fruitcake).
Joy to the World and Merry Christmas!
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