The Charm School Theory

I am about to tell all you knuckleheads out there something you have never heard from any other news outlet or opinion journal. What I say here will not be verified for sometime in the future, maybe years in the future, but this information is undoubtedly true. In the future, you will look back, read this article and say to yourself " damn, that Rob Smith is friggin brilliant, I think he is the smartest man in the history of the world."

Years ago, my buddy Will Clark, gave me a book to read, the Charm School, by Nelson DeMille. A suspense novel, it was written before the Soviet Union disintegrated. The title "Charm School," derived from a "fictitious"  school where captured Americans were studied by Russians to learn "how to be American," so that they could be better communist spies. Upon finishing the book, I developed the "Charm School Theory." DeMille's book was a work of fiction, but I deduced that the idea of the Soviets kidnapping Americans and "taking in" American prisoners from North Vietnam, North Korea and other places to train Soviet spies had to be true. Why? Logic, empirical evidence and an understanding of human nature.  In a nutshell, the Charm School Theory is the application of these tools to predict political behavior. The Soviets killed millions of their own people. Their goal was to take over the world and undermine stable capitalist countries by any means. Why would evil respect international law. The ends always justify the means. Sure enough as was proven when the Soviet archives were opened up,  Rob Was Right. No surprise there, huh folks?

Well, here's the news you haven't heard before. The Obama Administration conducted secret and warrant-less searches, spying and eavesdropping  on their political enemies. We know with certainty that the IRS, the Department of Justice, the CIA and  the FBI were weaponized to surveil and then attack Obama's political opponents. The media, even the conservative media is all focused on the sleazy and unlawful tactics employed by the Deep State to obtain warrants to spy on and later attack the "enemies of the state." Hello ( remember, I am the smartest man in the world), listen to me!

Utilize the Charm School Theory. At a minimum, Obama is a Neo-Marxist. Study him. Read his books. Look at his alliances. Blind faith in socialist polices always leads to totalitarianism.  The goal is always to achieve the overthrow of traditional society utilizing whatever tools are available. The Constitution and the Rule of Law be damned. This is a maxim of the progressive left. Ethel and Julius Rosenberg were executed for giving top secret information to the Soviets. How is what Hillary Clinton did, leaving her server unprotected not just as heinous? Every bad actor in the world swiped her server.  Yet, the Obama police state exonerates her,  and in connection with other Deep State operatives, fabricates evidence to ruin the candidacy and then the presidency of a duly elected chief office of the United States. The list of Pete Strzok apparatchiks frothing at the mouth with hatred  within the federal government is endless. Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. The FBI and the DOJ have limitless resources and conduct their policy decisions in secret. There is absolutely no accountability and virtually no consequences to these agencies engaging in criminal conduct to undermine our democratic institutions. What, are they going to prosecute themselves?

So, soak it all up folks. A sleazy warrant submitted to the FISA court creates a paper trail. There is nothing, absolutely nothing that prevents these agencies from secretly "wiretapping" virtually any citizen without warrants and due process. We will come to find out that the Obama Administration conducted hundreds, maybe thousands of  secret wiretaps and surveillances of their perceived enemies in an effort to perpetuate their policies of dismantling democratic capitalism, and to make it impossible for any opposition party to win a future election. All police states start this way, and eventually, there are no more elections. 

My name is Rob and I am always Right. Stay tuned, you will find out how right I am.

ROB SMITH FOR SUPREME COURT JUSTICE !

I have just heard that my name is not on President Trump's short list to replace Anthony Kennedy on the Supreme Court. This is a tragedy for America, and folks for the sake of our beloved democratic

Call 1-800-Rob-Court

republic, I need you to light up the White House switchboard and complain.

I would be confirmed easily because liberals, leftists and progressives love me. Let's list all of their hot buttons, and it will be easy to see why I am their  perfect candidate:

DIVERSITY: 

All of the other justices graduated in the top of their class from tony Ivy League law schools. I graduated  from the University of Richmond while working  a 40 hour/week job hustling pool at very un-tony locales.  I was not Summa CumLaude, but I still hold one academic record that has not been broken:  missing the most classes and still graduating.

My Religion Is Under-represented

All of the other justices are Catholic or Jewish.  As a regular attendee of the First Pentecostal  Evangelical Temple of Joy, imagine how I could liven up the opening prayer by introducing a little snake throwing and strychnine poison drinking?  

Pretty in Pink?  NAW....

I am a Southerner, all the other justices are heathens. Would it not be beneficial for the other justices to learn some manners? And what about those dark robes? A little southern flair for bright colors couldn't hurt. I think a coral or pink colored robe would pretty up Ruth Bader Ginsberg  a bit ( not an easy task) and perhaps make her less angry. 

Except for Justice Thomas, there are no black folks on the Court.

Dad and I 

As Barry White's illegitimate love child, I would up the soul factor on the Court. If the music in the elevators going up to the big court room were playing " Can't Get Enough Of Your Love, Babe," all the litigants would settle their cases; peace and love would prevail throughout the land.

CRIMINAL JUSTICE:

Exact Spot Where Clem Did His Bizness

Who better to be empathetic and protect the rights of individuals from the police, than a guy who has been in the underbelly of our criminal justice system?  Do you think that tight ass prig Justice Roberts ever spent the night in an Amherst County jail? What about Nantucket, Chapel Hill, Charlottesville or Athens, Georgia? Well, I have. Has Elena Kagan  ever had to run from the cops merely for trying to pick up girls in the  dorm at Longwood College?, oops, scratch that, distinct possibility there. None of these other justices know what it is like to be "shot at," handcuffed or had to watch a guy name Clem do his business on the toilet while breakfast was being served ( thank you Amherst County). 

PROFILING:

Years ago when I lived in Washington, DC, my buddy Robert "the Talking Horse" Marsteller and I would routinely be refused service at numerous Georgetown and K Street watering holes. Often, they wouldn't even let us in the door. This profiling happened right in our nation's capital! I still feel the sting to this day.

INNOVATIVE LEGAL SCHOLAR:

The last case we won, 
we flipped off the prosecution.

Have you met my boy, Coleman Smith. He went to Ole Miss and was also in the Army. I have been his lawyer for a dozen years. Bar fights, breaking stuff, flipping the cops the bird, you name it. He has a clean criminal record. They haven't been able to make anything stick despite his 111 arrests. I came up with the novel "Smith DNA Defense." The boy can't help it. This legal strategy is now taught in law schools across the country. I'm also good at closing argument rhymes. I gave Johnnie Cochran the "if the glove don't fit, you must acquit" line.  But here are a couple more:  "just because he shot her full of lead, doesn't mean he wanted her dead," and " Judge, have you seen the jugs on her, I think you should demur."

GRAVITAS:

Distinguished Scholar 

Finally, if one is going to be a Supreme Court Justice, one has to look the part. It's important to have gravitas and a sober, distinguished look about you. As the recent picture to the left indicates, I have these qualities in spades. In fact, complete strangers often come up to me and say "are you a Supreme Court justice?" It happens all the time. I also know a lot of catchy Latin phrases that my father Barry White taught me like: "omecay veroay erehay ndaay aketay ffoay ouryay razzerbay." Wait,....my bad, that's Pig Latin. Well, you get the point. I got it going on. For America's sake, call the White House !!!