LIBERALS STINK !

I was in New York on business the other day. My editor at Rob Is Right  asked if I would  drop by Zuccotti Park (Occupy Wall Street) and offer a few observations. I said sure thing H.L., I wanted to see what all the ruckus was about. As I walked down Wall Street, I knew I was getting closer to the action, the greater and more intense the "open sewer" smell became. Upon witnessing my first protester urinating on a high end luxury car, I began to wonder why liberals enjoy rolling around in their own stench? I think I will write a white paper for the New England Journal of Medicine on the subject. Obviously, there is a direct correlation between the lack of olfactory glands and rational thought. Here is a little ditty such that you can remember this political maxim:

                         If you smell like dog defecation,
                         your parents wasted money on education.

Let's test my theory. Who do you think smells better, conservative commentator Sarah Palin or liberal commentator Rosie O' Donnell:

Sarah attended and graduated from the University of  Idaho ( the Vandals).  I know people who have met her and the word is, she smells damn good. She looks like she smells good. In today's dollars, it costs her parents $2,701/year for Sarah to attend Idaho.

Rob's point: she smells good and her parents got a great deal on her education because it is possible to educate someone who  can think in a reasoned and rational manner.

Rosie attended Dickinson College (the "Red Devils")  before flunking out. She obviously has BO. I get nauseous  just looking at her. As a matter of fact, I can smell her straight through the Internet. Whew!!! If you have ever watched "the View," you know that she is a complete and utter idiot. You know how much jack her parents wasted on her education/year  to attend Dickinson College?  $44,685. There is a direct correl-  ation between smelling bad and being stupid, and no amount of education can fix the liberal aversion to rational thought,  ergo:

                                         smelly liberals = no brains.

To prove my point even further, who do you think smells better? Conservative Congresswoman Michelle Bachman (left) or loony left congressional candidate Cindy Sheehan (right)?
                   :

Believe me, a babe like Michelle Bachman smells like honeysuckle , 24/7 all the time. Cindy Sheehan, on the other hand attracts flies. Wild bears stay away from her.

Finally, as if I need to provide any further evidence to prove my theory that liberals stink, I offer additional  conclusive and irrefutable facts that the New England Journal of Medicine will certainly acknowledge: Pepe Le Pew and Foghorn Leghorn.

                                                                                                                                                  

Pepe is a Frenchman, so naturally he is one of these "35 hour work week, the world owes me something, I deserve to take the entire month of August off and vacation in Nice at the government's expense socialists." He fits the profile of the Occupy Wall Street protester exactly: I want something for nothing.  His malodorous nature cannot be denied. He is in fact a "stinking liberal."

 

Contrast Pepe with that good ole boy charmer Foghorn Leghorn. Foghorn is all about huntin and fishin, college football and NASCAR. He exudes family values, he is anything but a liberal. He's a right thinking American who definitely pulled the lever for Ronald Reagan. He would not have been able to subdue the Widow Hen had he smelled fowl (sorry, I couldn't resist). Dapper lady's men ( ahem, I know something about this subject) smell good, if they didn't, they wouldn't be dapper lady's men.  

 

Folks, you simply just don't get this type of mature,  astute political commentary and in depth analysis reading the New York Times or the Washington Post. Once again, ROB IS RIGHT "breaks" another earth shattering story. You heard it here first:

 

                                         LIBERALS STINK!!!!

 

                                     

I FEEL SO GOOD I COULD KISS MYSELF!!!

President Brown

I think I am a black man trapped in a white man's body. In many ways, I just don't get white people. Take Al Gore for example, remember when he and Tipper were dancing at the 1992 Inaugural? I'm sorry, but I don't want to be in the same race as anyone so rhythmically challenged.  It just ain't right.

If I barefoot, would u barefoot too?

I always knew I was different from the other white kids. My first recollection of this was when I was 6, in 1966, when my brother Ken (17) spun "Barefootin" by Robert Parker on our family's stereo in our living room. He had a date, had just slapped on some "smell good" water and in an instant he grabbed my Mother and spun her around about six times, screachin and yelling the lyrics out like a mad man ( I thought he had swallowed arsenic). He was "sho nuff gettin it," his feet were moooooving. He shuffled on out the door, never missing a beat, screaming and hollering until the sound just faded away like the afternoon twilight. Damn. We were different alright. I had never seen any of the Walker boys do that with their Mother. Ken never told me how his date went that night, but....there is NO WAY he "didn't hop on the good foot and do the bad thing" that night, cuz he had it going on.

I remember my father telling me that we Smiths had "banjo feet." I remember the way he looked at me when he said it and the grave, confessional  tone he used; and then he uttered in Latin: "caveant consules ne quid detrimenti respublica capiat." I have no idea what that means, but I think it is some ancient idiomatic expression meaning  "watch out boy, cause your banjo feet and good timing ways are going to get you and a mess of other folks in a whole heap of trouble." 

Secretary of State White

When it comes to politics, who are you going to trust: some tight ass white guy like Barack Obama, or Herman Cain? The way I look at it, if you can't get a groove on, then you can't be trusted. You're just flat out hiding something. You think James Brown was ever hiding anything? No way, he was "lettin it all hang out." I can remember being 16 and making out  with the head cheerleader in my car, the moon and stars glimmering off of Tayloe's Mill Pond with Barry White crooning "Love Seranade" on the 8 Track. That's real baby. Ain't nobody ever "realer"  than Barry White. Think what  a different world it would be if James Brown had been President and Barry White Secretary of State. Suppose JB was President instead of that moran Jimmy Carter, do you think there ever would have been a "misery index?" Hell no. Everyone would've been "feeeelin good" and getting jiggy. GDP would have been up 67%. How about "Dentente?" Instead of that uber tight ass Henry Kissinger, think of Barry White getting off an Aeroflot plane in Moscow in 1972, wearing his powder blue jump suit. How can you not trust Barry White? Ever listen to the lyrics of his songs? Barry White says what he means: "Come over here dear and take off your brassiere." That's direct. Compare that with "depends on the meaning of is" Bill Clinton or "I voted for it before I voted against it" John Kerry. Who do you think was cooler? Barry White or Leonid Brezhnev? Ever hear Leonid try and sing "Can't Get Enough of Your Love, Babe?" It ain't pretty. Had Barry replaced Kissinger, the Berlin Wall would have fallen in 1972 and the world would be a lot happier place.

New Vegas Lounge In DC

My point is it just isn't fair that I have to be in the same race as Harry Reid and Ruth Bader Ginsburg. ( Can you imagine having a few pops at the NewVegas Lounge in DC with the two of them?) 

AHHHHH!!!!!!

Help me, I AM TRAPPED!!!

My name is ROB and I am feeeling awwwRIGHT!

BARBARIANS AT THE GATE: A TALE OF TWO CITIES: PART II

Think This Dude Has A Job?

My point is this: when people have to "rely on themselves"  and are not given handouts from the federal government, they have a vested interest in the "social order" and the functioning of civil society. In these old Maggie Walker/Armstrong film clippings, there are no "dudes" walking around in baggy shorts with their butt crack showing. The black community of the time would not allow it; such behavior cheapens the whole community. Self -sufficient people are acutely aware of such negative social behavior which cheapens the collective whole and ultimately affects the livelihood of all in the community. People who "do things for themselves" instinctively recognize how society functions and thus, the importance of maintaining civil standards of decency, propriety and order.


In many respects, we don't need a "police state" to give us a well functioning and orderly civil society; a self-sufficient citizenry does this quite nicely. Recently, due to the hurricane in Richmond, most traffic lights at busy intersections were out, yet traffic flowed smoothly because the citizenry self-policed themselves. If anything, Richmonders  were TOO POLITE, "no Muffy, you go first, ..... no Alistair, you are my 2nd cousin and were always so dear to great-grandmother, I insist you go first!"

I have spent my whole adult life involved in entrepreneurial activities as a principal or an advisor/consultant. I am constantly amazed at the brilliant people I meet, who know "how to get things done," and have thought through the intricacies of very complex issues. These folks take risks and ask nothing from the government, other than to just be left alone. These folks make America work. Last week, I met with a new health care firm that has a radical model for enhancing doctor pay, reducing costs and giving patients more choices. It works, but unfortunately the federal apparatchiks regulating the industry will likely kill the company off. I contrast the incredibly talented people running this company with my recent visit to the Westhampton post office in Richmond. Never before was the contrast between the public and private sectors so apparent. The federal "workers" ( a misnomer as it implies people work) were lazy, rude and slower than January molasses. There was a 25 person line and an hour plus wait. The post office has a monopoly on mail service and yet is still going bankrupt. How many businesses allow people WHO ARE PAYING FOR SERVICES to wait to pay their money?  On my way out, after the postal worker couldn't do the simple task I requested, I announced to all, loudly..."folks, this is what health care is going to look like in a year." The place erupted in applause, and many hosannas of "Rob Is Right!"

The present administration is doing all that it can to make more people dependent on the federal government in an extreme radical attempt to transform America from a country of self-sufficient doers to a country of slow as molasses "serfs" who cannot "do" or "think" for themselves. They have declared the "doers" to be the enemy of the state.  The battle is not just about money, because  people who become dependent on the federal government have "no skin"  in the preservation of the American social fabric,  which is what has made this country unique in the history of the world.


My name is ROB and I AM RIGHT.

BARBARIANS AT THE GATE: A TALE OF TWO CITIES

My Prey That Got Away

Last Friday night, I was at a  rather new posh watering hole in town. I spotted a couple of jeune filles who I thought worthy of pursuing, handsome lasses they were, so I ambled up to them and engaged them in clever conversation. Strangers, perhaps they had not yet been warned by other local women to "stay away" from me, and I could beguile them with a few well placed yarns and feigned emotive concern which would illustrate "how sensitive and cuddly" I am. My gentlemanly manners were on full display. I even threw on a dollop of southern boy cordial charm, but alas, after unloading my full arsenal upon them, they thanked me  "for a lovely evening" and bid me adieu. Shucks. After several hours of earnestly working to ensnare my prey, I discovered that I was quite hungry. It was well past 10 o' clock, and I had a hankering for a good cheeseburger.

I Had A Hankering

I drove to an oft frequented French restaurant with a zinc bar that makes Deux Maggots look like a Waffle House. Surprisingly, they serve up a most excellent cheeseburger. I know all the bartenders, and I envisioned consuming the red meat that my body craved while yucking it up with my buds behind the bar.  From there, I would plan the rest of my evening. Unfortunately, the kitchen was closed; I was directed to another establishment within walking distance.


Despite the evening's setbacks, I was in a cheerful, even ebullient mood, until I walked into the other establishment. I sat at the bar......

Otis My Man

Now I am anything but a prude. I like to think that I get along well with all kinds of people from many different stations in life. When I was a young buck growing up in the Northern Neck of Virginia,  working in a sawmill in the summer, my black buddies would invite me to Vets Inn, an all black night club, known for  regular shootings and knifings. Do you mind if we dance with yo dates? When I would walk in, an underage 17 year old,  white bred honky, the music would literally stop and everyone would stare at me, then one of my sawmill buddies would put his arm around me and announce to the crowd "Smitty's alright! " Then, we would close the place down, and I would have 100 new friends.

The Last Chance

Similarly, I have spent time at the Last Chance, a redneck, stripper, biker bar in South Richmond, where the strippers would, every hour, on the hour, put their hands over their, uggh,..hearts, and boisterously lead all the patrons in a chorus of Dixie. Many a time, after a fancy black tie wedding at "the country club, " I would take out of town guests from Greenwich (and other such places) to the Last Chance. "Welcome to Richmond Skippy and Thurston!" as I'd slap them on the back and teach them the lyrics of our national song. God was that fun!


The point is, you can plop me down in the middle of a Jewish bar mitzvah or a Baptist tent revival, and I am high fiving everybody by the end of the night. I like people. Yet, at this other "establishment" I was referred to, I DID NOT like the people. I was disgusted by them, I loathed them. It was a white 30 something crowd, the guys were unattractive, slovenly and drunk. Their women were fat, unattractive, slovenly and drunk. Friday night in the big city, and my main protaganist ( the idiot I loathed the most) was dressed in nylon shorts, a wrinkled Budweiser T-Shirt and flip flops. He was a boorish rube and so were the other neanderthals he was with, staggering into people and loudly dropping the F- bomb between gutteral utterances and presumed attempts to speak English. The rest of the horde of Visogoths were "tatted up," pot bellied and equally repugnant. The whole scene reminded me of the Anna Karenina chapter where Levin got drunk with the peasants after taking in the harvest.

Daryll and Daryll

As I gandered around the room, I thought, had any of these miscreants ever been moved by a great poem? Had they read Shakespeare? Do they know anything about American exceptionalism? Had they ever sought truth or given any thought as to the existence of God or pondered any of the age old,  nagging philosohpical questions about man's existence and purpose? The answer clearly was No. These people were fools, specifically and perhaps purposefully bred by the government public school monopoly. ( If we manufacture uneducated idiots, give them a little rum and scraps of bread, we can control them). My intuition told me that these people were either all on the public dole or if they had jobs, they still were sycophants living off the rest of us. They might excel at video games, but my guess is each and everyone of them was a net "NEGATIVE"  to GNP. Several times, I gave the crowd the ole "Rob Is Right" icy glare over my horned rim reading glasses, a civilized way of saying shut the F up! But then I realized, these people were not civilized, they were not vested in society. My glare meant nothing to them.

Maggie Walker-Armstrong

On the way home, I called my friend Jan, a virtuous woman with a great deal of horse sense to ask her what it all meant? We discussed the old clippings of Yankee Stadium in the mid-60s when New Yorkers would get dressed up in coats and ties to go to a baseball game. Back in the days of segregation in Richmond, there was great football rivalry between two all black high schools, Maggie Walker  and Armstrong. There is a great program that comes on the local PBS station called "Richmond Remembers." The annual football game would be played at City Stadium, 35,000 people strong, all black and virtually all of the men would have on a coat and tie (and fedora). Upon watching the program, I was fascinated at how the black community had their own  social clubs, debutante parties, greek organizations and philanthropic foundations. Despite the disenfranchisement of the Jim Crow South, these people were self reliant and vested in their communities.


END OF PART I
(Part II is coming, keep your damn britches on)

GOD AND CHAOS

RAPPAHANNOCK RIVER AT SUNSET

When I was growing up, each evening I had the great fortune to witness beautiful, majestic sunsets illuminating the Rappahannock River with the deepest and most vibrant colors imaginable. All of us at times have experienced such moments when the beauty of nature overwhelms us, awes us and we are immobilized with wonder. These are God moments when God reveals himself to us, plain and simply. Pardon the modern vernacular, but in these moments God effectively says:  "Look dumb ass, who do you think created all of this, I am right here standing before you."

Charles Darwin

I am not a Darwinist. As a creature of reason, I know that it is simply mathematically impossible for life to have "just happened" by accident. Even the simplest form of life, the "cell" could not have "just evolved" by accident due to its incredible engineered complexities.   Serious scientists acknowledge this, yet much of society is loath to admit this truth, because an honest assessment inevitably leads to a truth many want to deny at all costs. It makes us uncomfortable. This denial of reality is rooted in this primal fear: if there is a God, and He made the Universe, then Man cannot be God and Man must submit to HIS authority. We don't want to submit because then we can't do what we want, so in the name of academia, clever sophistry and whatever tool we can muster, we refuse to acknowledge what is plainly evident.



DE NILE RIVER

 The same is true of God's law. As one trained in the law, I've read a lot of it, including all the great political philosophers. I didn't really fully comprehend the term "natural law" until I read the first chapter of C. S. Lewis' Mere Christianity some 15 years ago, and just like those Rappahannock River sunsets, I had an epiphany and God's presence was again revealed to me. We humans all know the difference between right and wrong, and we are also perfectly aware of a natural ORDER to God's world. We know instinctively and viscerally because it has been revealed to us and this law is abundantly clear. Law stems out of authority, it does not create itself by accident. Yet, we want to make it more complicated than it is, because if we can obfuscate, confuse and self-rationalize, we don't have to submit and can continue to be our own demi-gods. If we muddy up the rules of what is so plainly obvious, we can continue to do whatever the hell we want. If there are no limits to man's avariciousness,  then there are no limits to the evils that can ( and certainly will ) be committed in the name of Man's desires ( as opposed to God's).

Greek Temple

The etymology of the word "chaos" derives from the Greek,  meaning the  great void of emptiness within the universe from which Eros came and  gave divine order and perfected all things. Interestingly,   the ancient Greeks who did not practice ( or know) any  form of our Judeo-Christian  doctrines, recognized (God's ) natural law and divine order. Even more interesting is that "modernism"  has turned its back on what was so plainly obvious to the "ancients," folks that did not have TVs, I-Pads or 13 years of free government education.

The civilized world has been shocked at the ugly riots and looting in England. These riots are the natural and inevitable  result of  the moral relativism espoused by modern liberalism. I am not an advocate of the state preaching any religious doctrine; however, I am  opposed to a monolithic government education monopoly which forbids any acknowledgment of religious values, much less a level playing field where these ideas can compete with the mushy "diversity" pablum served to our children by the government controlled education establishment. England's "liberalism run amok" rivals America's. 40% of all children are born out of wedlock. The public schools proselytize on every liberal fad imaginable, but cannot even mention the word "God." Even England's great history, culture and contributions to western culture are belittled in the name of political correctness. 

The result is perfectly predictable: CHAOS. Moral relativism creates  a great void of emptiness and will  swallow our children and the rest of us into the abyss. If there is no God, no natural law or right or wrong or no divine order, then we are free to be our own "Gods." With nothing controlling our appetites, children will riot and loot stores for wide screen tvs and politicians will spend money this country does not have to buy power for themselves. Man is by nature corruptible and unless we construct our civil institutions to recognize this, and recognize our need to submit to a divine order that is bigger than ourselves, our republic and all of western civilization WILL fail. 


                                       Here endeth the lesson.

PS: Although my name is Rob and I am always Right, I am still an imperfect man, a sinner and every bit in need of God's grace and love as the next guy. I struggle with the exact issues above, by putting my own selfish desires above His.  God loves and cherishes everyone, even those who do not agree with me.

KISS A RICH PERSON

Those who have stated that President Obama has not created any jobs during his presidency are wrong. He has created one job, a giant CON JOB on the American people.  Indeed, all politicians who claim that "they" have created jobs while in office are giant Con Artists and chalartans. Rich people create jobs, not slick, snake oil politicians who demonize the "rich" and poison the political discourse by divisive class envy rhetoric and policies. America is better than this, it is vulgar.  Instead of castigating the rich, we should KISS THEM.

VOLUNTARY EXCHANGE

The government does not create jobs; the private sector does. Jobs are created by individuals (or entities comprised of individuals) who risk their own capital to pay someone for their services. This is a voluntary  exchange, where both sides get what they want, by trading labor for capital. The employer enters into the relationship because he feels as though he can utilize this labor (along with other capital investment) to produce something of value over and above the cost of the labor. This is how wealth is generated.  The employee gets a guaranteed payment for his labor with no capital investment. The employer never enters into this relationship unless he feels the relationship will allow him to produce a good or a service that other people will purchase voluntarily, under no coercion from the government.

Thus the free market consists of people casting votes, but instead of casting ballots they are voting with their own capital and labor. The free market is a giant think tank, where real people are making trillions of decisions as to what is a "good"or "bad" use of capital and labor. Wealth is good. Wealth is the litmus test that signals the product or services created was one that people valued, when wealth is created everybody wins. Every dollar  flowing into the federal government is produced by this incredible, dynamic and VERY democratic system.

Justice Marshall

Government operates by confiscating wealth. Some say by taxing wealth, but since taxes are compulsory and the government can collect taxes at the point of a bayonet, "confiscation" is a better and more apt word. In McCullough v. Maryland, Chief Justice Marshall stated the "power to tax is the power to destroy." It is a simple maxim of economics that if one wants less of something: TAX IT. Thus, taxing and regulating capital  produces less wealth, and less incentive to create more wealth.


When the government spends money, the expenditure  is not vetted by trillions of property owners scrutinizing and negotiating every element of the supply chain to produce as much efficiency as possible. Decisions are made from the "top down" by politicians, who have no "property stake"  in the money being spent; it is not their money. Whenever any "person or entity" spends "other peoples' money,"  it is a recipe for waste, incredible inefficiency and fraud. Don't believe me?  Give your 16 year old daughter your credit card and see what happens.


I wish I was rich. Sometimes I am jealous of rich people and their wealth, occasionally ( and I am ashamed to admit this), the emotive part of my brain wishes financial misfortune on rich people, ("oh isn't it great that Mr. Daddy Warbucks got knocked down a peg!"). I try to catch myself when such synapses of thought come over me, because such thinking is TOTALLY ILLOGICAL.  Wealth is good. It is the essential element for change propelling society forward, instead of into the dark abyss. Wealth begets more wealth. Without wealth there is no societal advancement, no cure for cancer; indeed there is not even any  art or literature, because there would be no leisure class to create such things. (When was the last time Haiti put a man on the moon?). 

BAD OLE RICH WOMAN

 Does anybody want a poor boss?  How about a poor client? When wealth is created through the free market and rich people get richer, all of society benefits. How? Well, first off, these folks would not have gotten rich had they not created a good or a service that benefited society, if it didn't benefit society, no one would have bought what they created. Second, what the rich do with their capital always benefits the rest of us. The rich don't stick their money in a mattress or dig a hole in the ground and stick money in a coffee can. That capital is always deployed in a manner that creates more wealth in others.  The rich create jobs and wealth in others by simply putting their money to work in the bank; this increases the supply of capital for others and reduces the cost of capital for business expansion.  If the rich  buy stocks and bonds, they provide energy to the capital markets. If they simply buy a yacht, they produce wealth for the lumber, brass, engine, sailcloth, rope and electronics industries and all of their workers.

Under the current administration's inane policies, "free market" wealth creators are abused and ridiculed, while  corrupt politicians substitute the trillions of informed votes cast in the free market to their own selfish  interests, bestowing "crony capitalism" favors on voting blocs that support their redistributive policies.

This is corruption, and it is a giant  CON JOB! 

My Secret

 I have decided to let the world in on a secret. There is one question that I do not know the answer to. (shocking, I know).  I have given it a lot of thought, I am conducting  experiments, I have contacted the brightest minds at NASA and MIT.   I think I am zeroing in on the answer, but in the interest of full disclosure and to let my readers know ( in my humble and modest way), that I am not completely perfect,  I have published this video as a form of press release. I know this "mea culpa" of mine will come as a shock to many who view me as some sort of Delphic Oracle. My apologies to anyone who I have let down by not knowing the answer to the question posed in the attached video. However, rest assured that I do know and am unwavering in espousing these

eternal truths:

                      

Carolina is a " Cheater School."



Maker's Mark is the best bourbon made.


A woman who can handle a shotgun is damn sexy (unless she is pointing it at you).


My boyhood dog, Moonshine, is in heaven, I ain't talking "dog" heaven. He's in "real"  heaven.


I have no interest in seeing Nancy Pelosi without her clothes on.


It will be a long time before anyone beats Joltin Joe's record of 56 straight games.


Barney Frank does not have any illegitimate children.


Every boy ought to play baseball.


George Bailey was a better man than Henry  Potter.


The founding of the United States was blessed by Providence.